When you are single, everything can be about you and what you want in life. You have a clean slate to do whatever you want with it, and the horizon can stretch out as far as you can see. Sure, you feel pangs of "I wish I had a boy/girl friend to share this all with" but overall, it's a pretty good feeling to know you are in the Master of your own fate.
Fast forward to when you are dating - suddenly (especially if you like this person; if you don't, stop dating them!) everything is dependent on what the other person's schedule is like. There are a lot of "I want to go out but is this person free?" and "I wish he/she would call", etc. Although you still have the power of decision, you choose to be dependent on what the other person has the capacity for.
Skip a chapter to when you have settled down in a stable (ball and chain) relationship (be it steady dating, an engagement or a marriage), and things become more complicated when it comes to making decisions and deciding what comes first. Obviously there has to be some sort of compromise because, unless the other person is dead from the neck up, there are two minds thinking different things in this twosome (or threesome if both of you are that adventurous; not that I can comment or advice on this situation - but feel free to share if you can!:)).
Believe me, compromise doesn't mean finding an amicable solution all the time. Most of the time it can be broken down into "com-e (on) promise (me) you'll do this" - see where I'm going with this?! Often times there is no middle ground. Your best bet in keeping the peace is to completely jump ship - to the other side of the argument ASAP. Not only will you be able to salvage any good will left before the fight started, you will also be able to hold it over his/her head in the future saying "well, I ALWAYS give in to you and you NEVER give in to me."
Seriously though, the golden rule does apply in all aspect of two-someness, especially when an innocent third party (pet, baby, friends, etc) is involved. Treat others as you would want them to treat you, give when you take and, like they say in Kindergarten: play nice y'all. That other person is your other half, the person who, despite all odds, you have decided to spend most if not all of your time with and, finally, the person who despite yourself, chose to be with you for who you are and vice versa - surely that should allow for some degree of flexibility (at least on good days!)?
1 comment:
Whatever happens, Warrick will always be your first baby. :) He has somehow brought you guys closer to each other. He was your first shared responsibility right?
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