When Sophie was but an idea...
Monday, 25 October 2010
Another Song I Should Be Singing Now
So, when every one and his cousin knocks on your door, when two hands are not enough, when there are too few hours in a day, when you wish you could survive on less sleep, when there are deadlines to meet, when others are counting on you to save them....
Breathe Slow
(Alesha Dixon)
I'm running out of patience
'cause i can't believe what the hell i'm hearing
And speaking of hell it don't compare to this heat
That i am feeling
I love you too much it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you bad for me
When i can hardly see from the tears that flow
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Not gonna lie or even try
You've got my wheel spinning
And i ain't the one to shoot the gun
'cause that means you will be winning
I love you too much it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you bad for me
When i can hardly see from the tears that flow
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Somebody better hold me back
You're lucky i know how to act
So lucky i ain't gonna attack
I'm being calm and cool
But believe me you it's taking everything to just breathe
Breathe breathe
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Composure
Breathe Slow
(Alesha Dixon)
I'm running out of patience
'cause i can't believe what the hell i'm hearing
And speaking of hell it don't compare to this heat
That i am feeling
I love you too much it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you bad for me
When i can hardly see from the tears that flow
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Not gonna lie or even try
You've got my wheel spinning
And i ain't the one to shoot the gun
'cause that means you will be winning
I love you too much it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you bad for me
When i can hardly see from the tears that flow
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Somebody better hold me back
You're lucky i know how to act
So lucky i ain't gonna attack
I'm being calm and cool
But believe me you it's taking everything to just breathe
Breathe breathe
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before i lose it get composure
I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure
Composure
Sunday, 24 October 2010
This Song...
... describes the love I have for Sophie. Funny how the romantic love songs also apply to family love. While the two emotions are different, neither is less important nor less intense than the other.
Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars)
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
I´d never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars)
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
I´d never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
What to do When Insomnia Takes Hold:
1. Listen to internet radio.
2. Update your iTunes library.
3. Check in on your baby more than once an hour. Use a videocam with night vision capability to film.
4. Do #3 while the baby is wearing a glow in the dark skeleton outfit in anticipation of Halloween.
5. Update your blog. If you do not have one, start one.
6. Get to know everyone in your Facebook friends´list by sending them short, sweet messages. Marvel at their photos and smile at their antics and thank God you are friends.
7. Email people you have always wanted to email for the longest time. A simple "hi, I am awake this late and thought of you" will be more than enough.
8. Set your alarm for a time when you should be awake at the latest. Sleep might take hold at any time and you do not want to be caught unaware.
9. Look through photos still in your digital camera.
10. Read that good book you never had time to read through before.
2. Update your iTunes library.
3. Check in on your baby more than once an hour. Use a videocam with night vision capability to film.
4. Do #3 while the baby is wearing a glow in the dark skeleton outfit in anticipation of Halloween.
5. Update your blog. If you do not have one, start one.
6. Get to know everyone in your Facebook friends´list by sending them short, sweet messages. Marvel at their photos and smile at their antics and thank God you are friends.
7. Email people you have always wanted to email for the longest time. A simple "hi, I am awake this late and thought of you" will be more than enough.
8. Set your alarm for a time when you should be awake at the latest. Sleep might take hold at any time and you do not want to be caught unaware.
9. Look through photos still in your digital camera.
10. Read that good book you never had time to read through before.
WHEW
Just finished the first weekend of not opening my computer since starting work last Monday.
Whew.
This weekend, I was reminded of three things no one should forget:
1. Wherever you go, there is love (from Sophie who smiles at me for no reason other than I am sticking my tongue out at her, to Warrick who enjoys a cuddle after a weekend apart, to friends who make long journeys worthwhile and the time spent with them sweet and fun).
2. Love is patient, love is kind (thanks Christian for being a great husband, a shoulder to lean on and cry on, a funny camping partner, a great support, and a great father).
3. Love conquers all things (hooray to Ben and Hazel for getting married in the most heartfelt and sincere manner).
Whew. Now for another week ahead.
BREATHE....
Whew.
This weekend, I was reminded of three things no one should forget:
1. Wherever you go, there is love (from Sophie who smiles at me for no reason other than I am sticking my tongue out at her, to Warrick who enjoys a cuddle after a weekend apart, to friends who make long journeys worthwhile and the time spent with them sweet and fun).
2. Love is patient, love is kind (thanks Christian for being a great husband, a shoulder to lean on and cry on, a funny camping partner, a great support, and a great father).
3. Love conquers all things (hooray to Ben and Hazel for getting married in the most heartfelt and sincere manner).
Whew. Now for another week ahead.
BREATHE....
ARGH
Just finished the first week back at work.
Argh.
It was tougher than I thought. In between taking calls and planning calls I was answering emails and sending out emails. How was I able to do this all so timely before, without losing my cool and feeling like there should be more than 24 hours in the day?! Plus, baby drama upon family drama, upon daily drama. The only thing I was looking forward to each day was the end of the day, because it meant the end of playing catch up and the task of clearing a full inbox.
Don´t get me wrong, getting back to work is a challenge worth facing. I just don´t think I should be facing it all at once.
I should remember what Christian told me while I was in labour... BREATHE.
Funny how that situation reminds me of this situation... since both times all I could vocalize was ARGH.
Argh.
It was tougher than I thought. In between taking calls and planning calls I was answering emails and sending out emails. How was I able to do this all so timely before, without losing my cool and feeling like there should be more than 24 hours in the day?! Plus, baby drama upon family drama, upon daily drama. The only thing I was looking forward to each day was the end of the day, because it meant the end of playing catch up and the task of clearing a full inbox.
Don´t get me wrong, getting back to work is a challenge worth facing. I just don´t think I should be facing it all at once.
I should remember what Christian told me while I was in labour... BREATHE.
Funny how that situation reminds me of this situation... since both times all I could vocalize was ARGH.
Saturday, 9 October 2010
First Weekend Away from Sophie and...
I missed her more than I thought I would. Which is quite funny as I anticipated missing her like I would miss an arm or a leg. It actually felt more intense, like there was a hole in my body that only she could fit into and make me whole again.
On one hand it was good that Christian and I could have some couple time to ourselves. It also meant that we could attend one of the best weddings ever of dear friends in Barcelona. If we had brought Sophie, it would have meant that she would have to sleep in her push chair or car seat in a loud atmosphere, and we wouldn´t have been able to follow her regular sleep schedule. If we had brought her but left her in the hotel with a babysitter, it wouldn´t have felt right, leaving her with a stranger.
A great solution was thanks to Christian´s mom, Katrin, who gladly took over Sophie´s care for two days. Peter, Christian´s dad took over Warrick´s care so that each of them could be individually focused on. While Warrick was no trouble, Sophie herself made life fun for Katrin by sleeping 9 hours straight each time and was generally in a good mood. I think both of them had a lot of fun and cuddle time together, as we came back to a super happy baby (although her super poo of the day tired her out).
It was so surreal seeing her again and looking (and finding) changes in my baby after two days apart. For one, she seems bigger, although this could be just my imagination. For another, though, she was warmer, cuddlier and fit even more snuggly in my arms than ever. And this is no imagination, this is what I felt when I hugged her and closed my eyes to take the moment in better. It was like the middle part of a jigsaw puzzle was found and fitted to make the picture complete. I told Christian just awhile ago, after he cuddled her to sleep and stared lovingly at her for over an hour, that now we were a family again. Me, him, Sophie and Warrick (who was well fed, brushed to perfection, and extra cuddly in bed as well).
I think now I know what a mommy kangaroo feels when its baby has left its sack... lighter in some ways but heavier in others. And always, always glad to see her baby.
On one hand it was good that Christian and I could have some couple time to ourselves. It also meant that we could attend one of the best weddings ever of dear friends in Barcelona. If we had brought Sophie, it would have meant that she would have to sleep in her push chair or car seat in a loud atmosphere, and we wouldn´t have been able to follow her regular sleep schedule. If we had brought her but left her in the hotel with a babysitter, it wouldn´t have felt right, leaving her with a stranger.
A great solution was thanks to Christian´s mom, Katrin, who gladly took over Sophie´s care for two days. Peter, Christian´s dad took over Warrick´s care so that each of them could be individually focused on. While Warrick was no trouble, Sophie herself made life fun for Katrin by sleeping 9 hours straight each time and was generally in a good mood. I think both of them had a lot of fun and cuddle time together, as we came back to a super happy baby (although her super poo of the day tired her out).
It was so surreal seeing her again and looking (and finding) changes in my baby after two days apart. For one, she seems bigger, although this could be just my imagination. For another, though, she was warmer, cuddlier and fit even more snuggly in my arms than ever. And this is no imagination, this is what I felt when I hugged her and closed my eyes to take the moment in better. It was like the middle part of a jigsaw puzzle was found and fitted to make the picture complete. I told Christian just awhile ago, after he cuddled her to sleep and stared lovingly at her for over an hour, that now we were a family again. Me, him, Sophie and Warrick (who was well fed, brushed to perfection, and extra cuddly in bed as well).
I think now I know what a mommy kangaroo feels when its baby has left its sack... lighter in some ways but heavier in others. And always, always glad to see her baby.
Thursday, 7 October 2010
One Good Man = Christian (Warning: Senti Alert!)
1. He got me a new, super small, super cute netbook with all the features I wanted.
2. He helped me get rid of the features I did not want.
3. He hides the fact that he is stressed from me so I will not be affected.
4. He likes going on dates.
5. He appreciates me being able to read him, gauge his mood and pacify him when need be.
6. We laugh together, no matter what.
7. We talk, talk, talk.
8. He is a little deaf but is a good listener despite this.
9. The way he loves Sophie makes my heart melt.
10. He is one of the smartest people I know. And respect. And love.
2. He helped me get rid of the features I did not want.
3. He hides the fact that he is stressed from me so I will not be affected.
4. He likes going on dates.
5. He appreciates me being able to read him, gauge his mood and pacify him when need be.
6. We laugh together, no matter what.
7. We talk, talk, talk.
8. He is a little deaf but is a good listener despite this.
9. The way he loves Sophie makes my heart melt.
10. He is one of the smartest people I know. And respect. And love.
The Famous Ng-Funke Formula
Compromise = You do this and I promise I will do that.
Hey, it works so far! :)
Hey, it works so far! :)
Time Soars
It´s been nearly a month since I last wrote in my blog and I feel guilty... hoo boy do I feel guilty. As guilty as not calling someone when I said I would, not keeping in touch with old friends, and not being able to stick to my diet... those kinds of guilt. I could rationalize that it´s because I´ve been so busy, but then the next logical question would be "with what?. This is because my days follow one after the other in a similar, if frantic pattern.
Wake up.
Feed the baby.
Sleep for another hour.
Wake up.
Feed the baby. Play with the dog.
Get up and get breakfast.
Load laundry.
Fold dried laundry.
Take over baby sitting, nappy changing, baby entertaining duties.
Feed the baby.
Change the baby´s nappy. Play with the dog.
Sing to baby or watch Elmo together on You Tube.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make lunch or wash the dishes after lunch.
Hang laundry. Load washer with the next batch.
Take over baby sitting, nappy changing, baby entertaining duties.
Feed the baby.
Tummy time for baby. Cuddle the dog.
Try to work, answer emails, write in the blog.
Walk in the park with family.
Feed the baby. Think about dinner.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make dinner or wash the dishes.
Check on laundry. Hang laundry.
Feed baby after her bath.
Relax while hubby plays video games or watch CSI together.
Sleep.
Wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.
And.... wash, rinse, repeat. It feels like Groundhog Day with the difference being- believe it or not, the days blend in together because I have a love hate relationship with this routine. It involves spending a lot of time and energy taking care of a little person I care deeply about so, like any mother with child, the experience can be liberating, rewarding, humbling and exasperating, all rolled into one. With this type of schedule, time does not only fly, but soars to limits I cannot imagine.
I wish nappy changes would go quicker and become fewer and further apart in instances from each other. I wish time with hubby would be more frequent and longer. I wish I had more of my time alone with myself... but then immediately think no, I shouldn´t feel this way. After all, it was our decision to love and raise our daughter, and it is a decision we have to see through, otherwise it would not be fair to her or to us as a family unit.
So, I´ll take the busy, routine days. I´ll withstand the nappy changes and the poo smells associated with this task. I´ll accept the interrupted sleep and the eyebags that follow. I´ll take time passing like a speeding locomotive and just pray that I am nimble enough to step out of its way. I will also pray that I get lucky, and that some days will see the fruits of my labour in my little girl´s smile. And then I will realize that time soars, and it is carrying me higher and higher, past all the boundaries that I want to overcome.
And as these tribulations become but specks in the distance, I will only look forward to a new day with new challenges, and hope that time will be on my side once again.
Wake up.
Feed the baby.
Sleep for another hour.
Wake up.
Feed the baby. Play with the dog.
Get up and get breakfast.
Load laundry.
Fold dried laundry.
Take over baby sitting, nappy changing, baby entertaining duties.
Feed the baby.
Change the baby´s nappy. Play with the dog.
Sing to baby or watch Elmo together on You Tube.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make lunch or wash the dishes after lunch.
Hang laundry. Load washer with the next batch.
Take over baby sitting, nappy changing, baby entertaining duties.
Feed the baby.
Tummy time for baby. Cuddle the dog.
Try to work, answer emails, write in the blog.
Walk in the park with family.
Feed the baby. Think about dinner.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make dinner or wash the dishes.
Check on laundry. Hang laundry.
Feed baby after her bath.
Relax while hubby plays video games or watch CSI together.
Sleep.
Wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.
And.... wash, rinse, repeat. It feels like Groundhog Day with the difference being- believe it or not, the days blend in together because I have a love hate relationship with this routine. It involves spending a lot of time and energy taking care of a little person I care deeply about so, like any mother with child, the experience can be liberating, rewarding, humbling and exasperating, all rolled into one. With this type of schedule, time does not only fly, but soars to limits I cannot imagine.
I wish nappy changes would go quicker and become fewer and further apart in instances from each other. I wish time with hubby would be more frequent and longer. I wish I had more of my time alone with myself... but then immediately think no, I shouldn´t feel this way. After all, it was our decision to love and raise our daughter, and it is a decision we have to see through, otherwise it would not be fair to her or to us as a family unit.
So, I´ll take the busy, routine days. I´ll withstand the nappy changes and the poo smells associated with this task. I´ll accept the interrupted sleep and the eyebags that follow. I´ll take time passing like a speeding locomotive and just pray that I am nimble enough to step out of its way. I will also pray that I get lucky, and that some days will see the fruits of my labour in my little girl´s smile. And then I will realize that time soars, and it is carrying me higher and higher, past all the boundaries that I want to overcome.
And as these tribulations become but specks in the distance, I will only look forward to a new day with new challenges, and hope that time will be on my side once again.
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