Have you guys played the game "Chicken"? Essentially, depending on what you have on hand, it is a stand off game wherein two people are given a task to do or not to do, and the first one to "give in" and do or not do the action is the loser or, Chicken. For example, the chicken game in the realm of racing sees two cars going head to head at full speed. The driver of the car that veers away first in order to avoid a collision is the chicken.
I'm currently going through a game I call the Silence Chicken. It involves me and another individual giving each other the silent treatment. Like the above, we both think that whoever gives in first and breaks the silence is the loser, but unlike the above, this is more than a spontaneous game. It is a test of wills, yes, but it is also about taking a stand.
My side of things are: I'm a grown-up, trying to do grown-up things, and all I get is put downs and unfair comparisons. I'm trying to be a mom to my baby and, while I still have a ways to go (after all, motherhood is forever), I am trying my best and it would be good to get recognition for that fact instead of constant negativity. Breaking the silence means I will have to say sorry (otherwise the other party ignores the break and keeps her silence while I lose - dead end), and while I know I'm not the most respectful person on the planet, I still think I'm in the right. I mean, I certainly never said anything wrong nor did I have a bad tone when saying it.
Yes, in a way we're both losers for even participating in this childish game. I admit that I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I stand by the fact that I need more positive support instead of needless nagging and insults to help me get there. I've had to raise and support myself for the last six years, and I think I know the difference between constructive criticism and needling put downs. I wish I had the former more than the latter but, with Silence Chicken in place, I'm guaranteed not to hear both - and this is why, in another dead end situation, I am already losing.
1 comment:
i hope whatever's bugging you will get better soon. yes, you need positive reinforcements. surround yourself with people who are positive, since your journey as a mom is just beginning. sending lots of love, hugs and kisses =)
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