All the private and semi-private education in the world cannot prepare you for parenthood, no matter how many useless/ful home economics classes get thrown in the mix. For instance, as a new mom, I had to learn:
1. How to work baby gates (gates of Hades more like)
2. How to build baby furniture (smaller does not mean easier, people!)
3. How to ensure the person on the phone is getting your full attention while making sure your baby does not eat the dog´s ball at the same time
4. Remembering to keep a supply of water and milk available at all times, you will never know what your baby might be in the mood for
5. Remembering to keep all things small and shiny away from tiny, grabby hands
6. How to strap and unstrap my baby from her car seat, her stroller, her baby chair, her sling, myself...
7. How to juggle opening and folding a stroller to fit into the trunk of a car while holding a squirming infant who clearly does not want to be held
8. Remembering to pack a weekend´s worth of baby clothes for one outing just in case some little not so cute accident happens
9. Remembering to introduce my husband as the "love of my life" and not "the guy who dragged me into this mess"
10. How to say no in a stern voice without smiling when my baby bites the spoon that´s feeding her and won´t let go
11. How to undress, shower, shampoo, dry off, dress, brush my teeth and comb my hair in the space of 5 minutes, just in case the baby might wake up and need me
12. How to change nappies without leaving the baby´s bottom uncovered for more than 5 seconds in anticipation of a really wet (or worse) accident
No comments:
Post a Comment