Funny Times in Deutschland, part one of many

Julie (at the Deutsche Post stationery store): Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie Englisch? Meine Deutsch is nicht so gut (excuse me, do you speak English? My German is not so good).

Clerk: Yes?

Julie: Do you sell any hole punchers (proceeds to demonstrate how a hole puncher works by holding the left hand out, palm up and making a fist with the right hand while simultaneously bringing it down beside the left palm)?

Clerk: A hole puncher, like this (proceeds to make the same motions with his hands)?

Julie: Yes.

Clerk: A hole puncher, a hole puncher, a hole puncher....

Julie: Yes.

Clerk: Ah so.... you will not get that here.

Julie: Oh (taken aback and trying not to show it). But I want to buy it, how much is it?

Clerk: No, you will not get that here.

Julie: Ohhh....kay....(looking confused at first then narrowing her eyes in near anger) and why can´t I get that?

Clerk: Oh... (looking for words and wondering why the Chinese girl in front of him is turning red so he turns red himself). It is not here. You cannot get that here.

Julie (through gritted teeth)Did someone take all the stock?

Clerk: No, no one gets that here.

Julie (slowly beginning to understand): Oh, so you do not sell it?

Clerk (relieved that the slow customer finally understands him): Ja, genau (yes, exactly).

Julie: Oh, okay. (Sheepishly) Sorry for bothering you!

Clerk: No problem, please come again for anything else but that.

Julie (hopefully): I WAS looking for paper clips, the black ones that hold a lot of paper.

Clerk: You cannot get that here.

Julie: Got it.

Clerk: No, you cannot. No one can get that here.

Julie: I mean, Ich verstehe (I understand). Danke! (leaves rapidly... very rapidly).