Letting It All Out

Christian and I met with the our priest two weeks ago, and it was a constructive meeting in more ways than one. Firstly, he helped us fill in an information sheet with our names, ages, etc, and he was pleasantly surprised to find out I was older than he thought I was (thank you Asian ancestry!). He also asked us several tough questions, the first of which was, would I keep my last name or change it to Funke?

I had to admit to him that I hadn`t thought about it that much yet, but for the meantime I would keep my name. There was one instance where he gave me a look, said okay, and wrote "Ng" down. Since then I have had an attack of conscience, and am currently waffling between the "Ng" vs "Funke" side. I`m quite sure that my kids will take on the Funke name, but as for me... "I will think about it."

The second tough question the priest asked was why my parents and family were not supportive of the marriage. I explained the whole "they want me to be closer to them and they want me to marry someone Chinese" with a smile of my face, but then his next question opened up a flood of quiet tears, "And how does this affect you?"

Christian helped out by saying I was so desolate that at one point I felt like it was easier for me to just pack my bags and head back to Asia just to make everything simple again. All I could do was nod silently because I didn`t know what to say. Inside I felt like confessing how I have second guessed myself because of how adamant my parents have been about this, and they are the people I should trust the most, right? But at the same time, I do trust myself as well, and this choice, to me, was something I made after hearing what both my head and my heart had to say.

And while my head and heart aren`t saying "Funke" at the moment, they are both saying I should be with this great, amazing guy... hence, I am still Becoming Funke.